Choosing Positive Tension

Posted on April 30, 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

Stephen Covey writes,

“The truth is, … we are all off track most of the time, all of us – every individual, family, organization or international flight to Rome.  Just realizing this is a significant step.  But for many of us, the feeling of being off track brings with it discouragement and despair.  It needn’t and shouldn’t be so depressing.  Knowing we’re off track is really an invitation to realign ourselves with true north (principles) and recommit ourselves to our destination.”

Sustaining a healthy emotional life (as a leader and individual) requires that we embrace a certain degree of tension in our lives.  Specifically, the tension between what one has already achieved and what one still ought to accomplish – or the “gap” between who one currently is, and who one should be. 

As a leader we want to help followers understand and embrace this healthy tension.  To embrace this “gap.”  To help them clarify their potential, and embrace their responsibility to actively move toward that potential.

One of the best ways for a leader to do this is to role model this type of courageous attitude.  To allow our followers to observe how we are admitting where this “gap” exists in our own lives, and then display how we are taking specifics steps to close this gap between who we currently are – and who we should be, and what we still could accomplish.

Then… after a good bit of role modeling - we should not hesitate to challenge others to move toward their own potential or goals.  To help them clarify, and then fulfill, their own personal meaning in life.  To challenge them not to pursue some “tensionless” state, but to enter into a journey leading toward a freely chosen and worthwhile destination.

** I would say a person either chooses to embrace this tension – or choose instead to be bored.

Are you feeling that positive tension – or just feeling bored?

“The tension between ‘yes’ and ‘no,’ between ‘I can’ and ‘I cannot,’ makes us feel that, in so many instances, human life is an interminable debate with one’s self.”
- Anatole Broyard