Fine Tunes…

Posted on June 24, 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

“Why do most of us like to talk so much? Because we want to be noticed and appreciated. We get a charge out of being the center of the universe. But when sit there and yap on and on, you use up all the oxygen and energy in the room, which is debilitating for everyone else there with you.” - Linda Thaler & Robin Koval

In the book “The Power of Nice.” Authors Thaler and Koval write that “often times, more communication is less communication.” They suggest

five

ways to fine tune your listening skills:

* Let the Other Person Be Smarter. When you let another person’s brilliance shine through, you not only gain new information, you also earn their goodwill. Everyone likes to be around people who make them feel both important and intelligent.

* Keep It Simple. Sometimes the best answer is the simplest one. By listening rather than pontificating about your opinion, you will often discover the simple connection (or truth) that makes all the difference.

* Ask, Don’t Tell. When you ask questions, you tell people that you care about them - that you’re interested in what they have to say. You also send the subtle message that you’re a bright, inquisitive individual who would like to know more. That’s why even the smallest question can have a huge impact.

* Don’t Argue. Whenever problems or conflicts arise, there is a natural tendency to try and “talk your way out of it” - or to defend yourself. But sometimes the best way to win your case is to shut up, humble yourself, and listen your way out of it.

* Everyone Is Worth Listening To. Jay Leno says, “We live in a society of exclusion. There is this idea that you should try to keep people out - ‘Oh, you can’t come into this club, you have to be a member, you don’t have enough money, you’re not handsome enough.’ But if you go through life with the opposite attitude and try to include everybody, it opens up doors.”

Remember Dale Carnegie’s quote: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”