Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D. author of The Courageous Life, is an organizational consultant with a special interest in coaching courageous and effective leaders.
Monday, 04. January 2010 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
Recent finding about the nature of intelligence:
1) Existing standardized IQ tests totally fail to predict success in life or business. (Because IQ only narrowly relates to one’s overall intelligence.)
2) Emotional maturity has been scientifically proven to be an indispensable contributor to rational decision thinking and decision making – key attributes which lead to high levels of success.
3) New research is showing that “overall” intelligence is (to a large extent) learned.
Four Major Factors of Overall Intelligence: 1) Intellectual Intelligence (IQ): is largely genetic, but can be honed (or heightened) by curiosity, discipline in study, and by exposing yourself to a wide range of experiences.
2) Emotional Intelligence (EQ): is the ability to manage your own emotions. It begins with your ability to recognize your emotions, then understand them, and finally to manage yourself out of “emotional hijackings.” (A person’s emotions can get “hijacked” by an event or strong emotion… like excess fear, anger, bitterness,…)
How to develop EQ:
• The first step to a high EQ is growing in your ability to recognize, or be aware, of your emotions. THIS IS NOT AS EASY AS IT SEEMS… We all can loose sight of our emotions… Being aware of our emotions requires constant reflection and forms of feedback.
• The second step is to manage your emotions… (primarily by managing your self-talk.)
• The third step to concentrate (to be fully present) so you are not caught off guard in any type of situation which may occur in the day.
3) Social Intelligence (SQ): If EQ is the ability to manage your own emotions, then SQ has to do with recognizing and managing the emotions in interpersonal relationships. EQ is directed inward. SQ is directed outward, and involves:
• The ability to recognize the emotions of others
• The ability to empathize with those emotions
• The ability to listen well
• To really care
• And the ability to resolve conflicts in a healthy way
4) Change Intelligence (CQ): This type of intelligence has a huge impact on one’s ability to lead others and organizations.
• Where you quickly recognize the need for change
• Are emotionally comfortable with change - can emotionally come to peace with the need for change
• And can confidently lead yourself, and others, down the path of change
SO WHAT IS THE POINT?
** Research has shown that World Class Performers may only have an average IQ, but definitely have highly developed EQ, SQ, & CQ’s. This again shows that success is developed…
Thursday, 19. November 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
“Sometimes the dark side of leadership eclipses the bright side – to the detriment of both the leader and the organization.” – Jay Conger
There are many paradoxes in Leadership. One paradox is that a leader’s personal strengths – the abilities that have brought a leader success – can (if left unchecked) contribute to an eventual failure in their leadership. Research has shown that the qualities that propel an individual to leadership success have often been the issues that catalyzed a significant failure in that person’s leadership.
So, what is the “dark side?” The dark side is grounded in the inner urges, compulsions, and dysfunctions of our personality that often go unexamined, or remain unknown to us, until some type of emotional experience or trauma is experienced. Our dark side can be exasperated by various personal issues, including:
• Our insecurities
• Feelings of inferiority
• Our need for approval
As a leader, here is what you should know:
• Characteristics that drive people to lead and succeed often have a “dark side” that is capable of crippling them.
• Every leader/person suffers from some degree of personal dysfunction.
• Many leaders are not aware how their dysfunctions influence and drive them.
• Because dysfunctions can channel themselves into ambitions, our dysfunctions can often go undetected until it is too late.
• Learning about their dark side can enable leaders to address and prevent (or at least mitigate) their potential negative effects.
Writing about Abraham Lincoln, author Donald Phillips writes, “Unlike many leaders, Lincoln was painfully aware of his dark side and took proactive steps to prevent it from sabotaging his leadership.”Lincoln understood that for any person to successfully lead others, he or she must understand that leading, at times, can bring out the worst in us.
So how do we master our dark side? Well, in many ways, mastering our dark side is nothing more than using good common sense. First, one needs to admit they do have dark tendencies, and then take time to adequately discern what they are – and understand how they tend to manifest themselves.
Second, understand that our past does impact our present – and therefore we need to examine our past with the purpose of understanding ourselves better. One begins by recalling the events that (for whatever reason) have significantly shaped our life and have left an indelible mark. The Bible teaches, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” Once we have taken the time to admit how certain events have left an unhealthy shadow, we can then start down (many times with the help of others) a path of healing and personal freedom.
Finally, we need to practice progressive self-knowledge and discipline. Self-knowledge is best attained by opening ourselves to the scrutiny of others, seeking feedback regarding how our dark side may be rearing its ugly head. Self-discipline (coupled with accountability) is then developed to keep our unhealthy appetites under control. For example, Lincoln helped manage his anger by writing long letters to vent his anger and emotion – which he generally never sent.
Challenge: Do you know, and are you managing, your dark tendencies as a leader? Would others say you know, and are managing, these tendencies?
Sunday, 11. October 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
“In the absence of clearly defined goals we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia – until ultimately we become enslaved by it.” – Robert Heimlein
Why is setting specific goals important? The Bible states that “without a vision the people will perish.”Whether it is an individual, organization/church, or an entire nation, if that entity does not have clearly defined and energizing goals, it will not be able to sustain its existence, or reach its full potential. Michael Keifer writes, “No goals, no future.” Clearly defined goals provide the fuel to reignite a life, organization, or as the Bible states - the heart of an entire nation.
Perhaps the best example of a goal which inspired an entire nation for nearly a decade, was a goal made in 1960, when President John F. Kennedy declared that the United States would put a man on the moon by the end of the decade. And despite enormous obstacles, setbacks, and challenges, the goal was reached on July 21, 1969, when astronaut Neil Armstrong took his first steps on the dusty grey surface of the moon. That event will forever be one of the proudest days in the history of the United States.
This same type of compelling vision is critically needed in our personal lives as well – for without clearly defined destinations, our lives will quickly drift into a mediocre, tedious, and unfulfilling existence. Legendary Football Coach Lou Holts offers good advice,“If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things, then you don’t have enough goals.”
William Danforth, chairman of the Board for Ralston Purina said, “I have observed that setting a goal makes no appeal to the mediocre. But to those fired with an ambition to really greatly achieve, setting a goal becomes a program that stirs the inner soul to action.” Business philosopher Jim Rohn writes,“The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.” He later adds, “The reason most people face the future with apprehension instead of anticipation is because they don’t have it well designed.”
Those who are living a courageous life embrace their responsibility to clearly define what they want their life to be about – and stand for. They are determined to own their life and majestically sail toward their future and potential.
** But as we set our goals, we need to be careful. We need to make sure the goals we set also respect and protect a healthy and balanced life. We do not want to step out toward our dreams – and leave our faith, relationships, and health behind.
Tuesday, 29. September 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
It has been said that without a clearly defined goal, or focus, a person will naturally drift toward a life of trivial mediocrity. I agree.
The Apostle Paul wrote, “this one thing I do…” (Philippians 3:10-14) – Paul had a clearly defined focus for his life, and this focus enabled him to most effectively live out his calling and purpose. This focus gave him extreme clarity regarding where he was to spend his energy, time and resources.
I personally believe the first step to living such a focused life is to decide that your “YES” is. To clarify, for each key area of your life, what you are going to say YES to. A person is not prepared to say “no” to anything until they have first clearly discerned what they are going to say “yes” to.
Defining your “Yes” provides clarity - it allows you to pinpoint which one path you will follow, and which opportunities (even good ones) will consequently require a “No” response… for you are not prepared to say NO until you’ve said YES to something else.
Your “YES” defines your focus, it sets your compass. It determines what your life/work will focus on - while weeding out those activities will only distract you from that higher calling.
** What is your “YES” for each key dimension of your life? (Spiritual, Spouse, Family, Career,...),
Tuesday, 22. September 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
I had the privilege to attend an outdoor U2 concert in Chicago last week.
It was a pleasant, clear night where the audience was full of excitement and energy as the band played many of its musical hits from the past 25 years or so. Halfway through the concert, U2 performed one of their most popular songs, which contains the lyrics“I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”
When U2 began to sing this well-known chorus, the whole audience of over 80,000 people joined in unison, singing with the band over and over, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for… I still haven’t found what I am looking for…” As energetic as any other time in the concert, the stadium of loyal fans were emotionally feeling and singing the lyrics of a song Bono had written some 25 years earlier.
The journey of Belief is one of pursuing with conviction, patience and fortitude what you “still have not found.” It is one of stepping out toward what you have yet to know or experience. It’s about allowing a compelling belief, yearning or conviction to lure you on toward a destination that is still unclear, or foggy in many ways.
I personally believe one of the core and central journeys of every person’s life is of this nature – of believing in, and stepping out in faith toward what has yet to be realized or attained. Of embracing a belief that there is something better, and allowing it to lure you on toward becoming a better person, parent, friend, spouse, leader – of reaching a meaningful vision or dream.
This is what marks each person’s “Heroic Journey.”
Friday, 18. September 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
The most important decision you will ever make is the choice to Believe. The choice to believe in yourself, your dreams, talents, in your marriage, your kids, in what is still possible, in God...
Though this choice to Belief is the most important of choices, many individuals falter and fade in that choice. Too many, too often, will choose to give into their fears and doubt. When the path of “Belief” starts to become foggy, or down right difficult -too many, too often will choose to be driven by anger, doubt, fear and despair instead of having the fortitude to continue down the path of courageous belief.
Why do people falter in their belief?:
- The choice to give into fear and doubt is easier and takes far less energy - while the pathway of Belief can many times, and for long periods of time, be wearisome.
- The choice to give into anger and despair allows a person the comfort of thinking they are a “victim” - where they can blame God, others, or “the system” for whatever befalls them.
- Faltering in one’s belief allows that person to neglect the personal discipline needed to acquire new knowledge, skills, mentors, and help to sustain them in a journey of Belief.
- The journey of Belief can be painful and lonely - while the choice to give into their fears, and play it safe, allows a person to remain comfortably tucked away in the crowd.
So if you are going to make the choice to Believe… remember:
- The choice to Believe is many times the most difficult of choices - while the temptation to give into doubt and despair easier than a downhill walk.
- The choice to Believe is always a narrow path that leads into the unknown, chosen by the few.
- *** BUT... The choice to Believe always releases the power to create (or re-create) your reality. It is the only path that will allow you to reach the summit of your dreams and potential - to experience all this life has to offer. While Belief is not magic, it is indeed magical!
Sunday, 13. September 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
The degree to which we develop our self-awareness will significantly influence our success in life.
Warren Bennis writes, “Only when we know what we are made of can we begin our lives.”
Self-awareness is where leadership development begins - for ever greater levels of self-understanding will enable us to lead ourselves, and others, in more authentic and meaningful ways.
The following are ways to develop self-awareness: 1) Stop blaming others for your behavior. You always have a choice how you respond and behave. How do you tend to blame others for your unhealthy behaviors?
2) Take a personality assessment to help gain more perspective regarding how you are wired.
3) Get feedback from significant people who know you well. This can be uncomfortable for both of you, but it is the fastest method for gaining a better understanding of your strengths and limitations.
4) Seek out a coach or mentor. Someone who sees you in action - and can help you become a better version of yourself.
5) Understand that your biggest irritations look a lot like you. If something irritates you, it may be because you have the same tendency/habit yourself.
6) Look beneath your behavior to discern your assumptions about life. What assumptions are driving your healthy and unhealthy behaviors?
7) Asses what seems to be limiting your growth and success. How may you be giving those roadblocks too much control or power in your life?.
8) A regular occurrence of negative interactions with others tend to signal a selfish attitude in your life.
9) Each night, reflect back on your behavior.Ask questions like: How did I handle difficulties? What did I think or do when I don’t get my way? How adaptive was I? Did I control my emotions? Did I judge other people and create conflict? How did others relate to me? What hindered my showing love today?
10) Record your thoughts and experiences in a personal journal. It is one of the best ways to capture what is going on around you - and inside you.
11) Make note of the causal remarks people make about you.
12) Read books and go to seminars that help you rethink your assumptions, and address problem areas - and blind spots - in your life.
13) Consider the words you have used lately. Your words mean a lot. The words you use reflect your thinking and attitudes. Your thoughts and choices have brought you to where you are now, and your thoughts and choices will determine where you end up in the future.
** Being self–awarene is difficult. But admit your need to continually grow by asking yourself, “What are my next steps to grow both personally and professionally?”
Wednesday, 09. September 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
In studying the topic of “success,” I have found 5 characteristics which mark individuals who separate themselves from the pact – of those who reach the highest levels of personal success.
1) First, they are driven by a strong sense of Passion and Belief. They have a defining conviction that compels them forward in a specific direction – toward a unique Grand Goal. Whether it be meeting the needs of the poor and needy, or adding value to the business world in a unique way, or helping individuals connect with God – successful individuals have extreme clarity regarding what they want to do and accomplish.
2) They have chosen to Think Big and set Big Goals. They are not only passionate about a specific issue or venture, they have set compelling goals to bring those passions into reality. Their goals are not only specific, but are goals that Stretch – goals that Create.
3) They embrace that steps of Faith into the unknown will be needed if they will ever reach their desired destination. They have chosen to be driven by Faith, not Fear. They understand that active steps into the unknown will need to be taken if they are going to make their goals a reality. And they are ready to take those steps.
4) They have taken time to creatively develop and implement Systems. Systems that keep them focused on their goals – and which then drive them to those goals. They have skilled staff who fill needed roles, established ways to track progress, and determined ways to hold themselves accountable for progress. Not only do they have a well thought through plan – and have systematized that plan so it almost runs by itself.
5) They have a high level of personal discipline to use whatever systems they have created to stay on task. They have developed personal rituals and habits that keep them proactively moving in one direction – in the direction of their Dream and Goals.
Challenge: Which of the above issues do you need to develop to help you live out your passions – and reach ever-higher levels of potential?
“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo
This quote by Michelangelo is still true today. Many of us aim too low! One person who believed it is necessary to individuals to “aim high” was Victor Frankl - Victor believed that man’s primary motivator in life is his quest for meaning.
** The video below presents a few of Victor Frankl’s key thoughts and quotes:
(Hints: Use the pause button if needed. Once the video is going - press the “HQ” for better picture quality.)
“If we take man as he is, we make him worse, but if we over estimate a man - we promote him to what he really can be. If you don’t recognize a man’s search for meaning, you make him worse. You make him dull, you make him frustrated…” - V. Frankl
