Wednesday, 11. August 2010 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
There are at least five key benefits of clarifying, and then living out one’s Purpose - or Calling in life:
1) Discovering your purpose gives deeper meaning to life. We were all created to live out a unique and meaningful purpose – and knowing that purpose will enable/empower you to bear with almost anything life throws your way. Hellen Keller wrote, “Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”
2) A well-defined purpose simplifies life. A well-defined purpose becomes the standard to evaluate which activities are essential and which are not - by asking, “Will this activity help fulfill my purposes in life?” A worthy purpose simplifies.
Without a clear purpose, you have no foundation on which to base decisions, allocate your time, and use your resources. Instead, you will tend to make choices based on circumstances, pressures, and/or your mood at that moment.
3) A meaningful purpose provides focus. It is human nature to get distracted by trivial issues. If you want your life to have impact, focus it on your unique Calling – and never confuse mere “activity” with productivity. You can be very busy, yet still aimlessly wonder through your day, week, and life. A clear purpose will concentrate your effort and energy on that which is most important.
In addition, without a defined purpose, you will be temped to keep changing direction/jobs/relationships/churches, or other circumstances – hoping the next change will help find the meaning your life seems to lack.
4) Knowing your purpose motivates. Purpose produces passion, for nothing energizes an individual like a clear purpose. On the other hand, passion will dissipate when one is uncertain… It is usually meaningless work - not overwork - that wears us down, saps our strength, and robs our joy. George Bernard Shaw wrote, “This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.”
5) Your purpose will help define your lasting legacy. Many people spend their lives trying to create a lasting legacy. Living out your God given purpose will greatly shape what your lasting legacy will be. Choose your legacy by living out your unique Calling.
** So how can does one define their Calling/Purpose in life?
For at start, take a couple of hours and go off to some beach, park, or quiet corner restaurant booth and dig deep into your heart and write down your thoughts to the following questions:
• When am I most naturally myself? What people, places, and activities allow me to feel most fully myself?
• What is my greatest talent? What have I always been good at doing?
• What do I love to do? How can I get paid for doing what I love to do?
• Who are my most inspiring role models? Why is this so?
• How do I enjoy being of service to others?
• What is my heart’s deepest desire?
• What needs do I care about the most?
• What makes me feel most fulfilled?
• What have I felt called to do?
• What legacy would I like to leave?
* Some thoughts above revised from “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren.
Thursday, 29. July 2010 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
“We must not be afraid of dreaming the seemingly impossible if we want the seemingly impossible to become a reality.” – Vaclav Have
Robert H. Goddard, the driving force behind America’s early space programs, is today called “the father of space flight.” But when he first imagined that a rocket could be propelled through outer space, the New York Times ridiculed his dream, saying he lacked even “the knowledge ladled out daily in high schools!” With no atmosphere in outer space, and therefore nothing for an engine to thrust against, the NY Times explained a rocket could not move an inch. That was in 1920.
Goddard stuck to his dream, insisting, “It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.”
In 1969, when the Apollo 11 mission reached the moon, the NY Times reconsidered its earlier scoffing and mocked itself in an editorial that included these words: “Further investigation and experimentation have confirmed the findings of Issac Newton in the 17th century, and it is now definitely established that a rocket can function in a vacuum as well as in an atmosphere. The New York Times regrets the error.”
** Psychologist Abraham Maslow said when we free ourselves from the constraints of ordinary goals and uninformed scoffers, we will find ourselves “roaring off the face of the earth.” That is what happens when we, by faith, step in the direction of our beliefs and goals, rather than allowing ourselves to be distracted by naysayers who are content to live a mediocre life.
** Stay focused, and move in the direction of your dreams. Do not let anyone belittle your dreams out of you – for one day they may owe you an apology for scoffing at your idea as well!
“The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.” – Arthur C. Clarke
Monday, 12. July 2010 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
“I want to live while I’m alive…” - Jon Bon Jovi
The book “Toward The Final Crossroads”, is a biography of Howard and Edna Hong, who together translated volumes of book written by Soren Kierkegaard into English. They also founded the Kierkegaard library at St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minnesota. Just prior to World War II, Howard and Edna spent their honeymoon in Denmark, beginning their translations work while riding a tandem bike through Europe… Post WWII, they worked aiding war prisoners and refugees in Scandinavia, Austria and Germany.
On returning home to the United States, they were teachers at St. Olaf College and raised a family of eight children - both naturally born and adopted. One of the contributors to their biography described Edna as having great physical, mental and spiritual energy. At Edna’s death she wrote, “I feel weepy to think that she is no longer in the world, she was a vision of active goodness.”
Our own story is compiled in how we understand - and then make choices - at various crossroads in our life. In fact, every choice we make contributes to shaping and defining our life story.
Such is the power of choice. It can bring us closer to, or further from, our dreams. A good part of our waking day is spent in making choices. It begins as soon as the alarm goes off. Do we get out of bed or push the snooze button? Do we prepare for work or call in sick? At the job, do we work with excellence or goof off? Then all during the day we continue making choices as we decide what to do next. Do I tackle the most important task, or let myself drift into doing the mundane? Do I focus on moving forward, or settle for the least resistant path? Each decision leads us down the path of success - or causes us to remain sitting on a pile of mediocrity.
What kind of life are you choosing to live?
“Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.” - Soren Kierkegaard
* Adapted from an email sent to me from my mom.
Saturday, 12. June 2010 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
A True Story:
It’s winter in Wisconsin. Ten degrees outside. Snowbanks line the roads and ice on sidewalks make walking hazardous. Frank Daily, fourteen years old, has just boarded city bus number ten along with many of his schoolmates, on his way home from school. The bus driver is John “Kojak” Williams. The bus heads west on Blue Mound Road.
While his schoolmates chatter in other parts of the bus, Frank sits alone near the front, lost in thought. He’s having a hard time fitting in at his new school. He looks down at his new NIKE sneakers and remembers the disappointment he felt when he failed to make the school’s basketball team a few days prior. He feels lonely and invisible.
The bus stops and a woman slowly climbs the steps, wearing old clothes, no shoes, and only tattered socks. She settles into a seat behind the bus driver, a few rows in front of Frank. Many of Frank’s classmates are laughing; the bus driver yells at them to quiet down.
The driver asks, “Where are your shoes, lady?”
“I can’t afford shoes right now,” she answers. “I got on the bus to get my feet warm. If you don’t mind, I’ll just ride around for a bit.”
“I’ve got kids,” she says. “They have shoes, but there’s not enough for me, but that’s okay. The Lord will take care of me.”
Frank looks down at his new NIKES and thinks about this woman. Under the seat, he unties his shoes and slips them off. When the bus reaches his stop, he picks up his shoes, walks up to the woman, and hands them to her. As he steps out the door to head home, he hears what the derisive hoots from some of his callous schoolmates.
Frank Daily’s story might never been told except that Kojak, the bus driver, thought it was remarkable enough to contact the local newspaper and tell it to a reporter. “In twenty years driving a city bus I’ve never seen anything like this,” he said, adding, “those shoes fit that woman just fine.”
** Character is not what you think or what you intend; it is what you do. Without action, our character is quite useless.
** How does your character need to be proactively displayed… today?
Tuesday, 08. June 2010 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
“We are not meant, in the grand scheme of life, to be happy and comfortable. Rather we are meant to forge our characters on the anvil of adversity…
Most of us experience monumental periods of adversity — to burn away our self-deception. These devastating setbacks propel us in our quest to become fully and creatively human.
Sometimes we get stuck, so stuck, in fact, that only great pain will impel us to move. It’s then that the power of adversity is revealed. But to see it requires a new way of looking at the world, a radical shifting of perspective.
The walls of your adversity might seem too high to scale. Never mind. Don’t look up and don’t look down. Look straight ahead, find that first foothold, and climb. Soon that wall will become merely a stepping stone to the next phase of your life — and (surprise!) your next adversity. At that time recall the concept of sweat equity and realize that when you leverage your learning from adversity past and present there is no failure and no wasted time.”
— Al Weatherhead and Fred Feldman, The Power of Adversity
Friday, 02. April 2010 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words;
Be careful of your words, for your words become your deeds;
Be careful of your deeds, for your deeds become your habits;
Be careful of your habits; for your habits become your character;
Be careful of your character; for your character becomes your destiny.
Character is not something you can fashion overnight; it must be earned and proven over time – built brick by brick, through the weeks, months and years of life. As James A. Froude 1818-1894 wrote, “You cannot dream yourself into character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.”
How strong is your character? What comments do you think your friends are making about your integrity? Where would family members see cracks in your integrity? What habits and behaviors in your life have you kept hidden through the years, hoping no one will find them out? And the most important question to ask yourself is “Do you really believe maintaining your character and integrity is of primary importance?” If so, why? If not, why not?
If you do not believe protecting your character is of critical importance, then I challenge you to consider people you personally know who consistently compromise their integrity. What kind of fruit is their life producing? Personally, I do not know of one person who has lived a life of compromise who has also maintained a long-term, happy, and growing marriage with their spouse; who currently has the deep respect of their adult children; or who is admired as a role model of success by their peers.
While no person is perfect, we can divide mankind into two major groups. One group realizes their frailty, are aware of their personal vices, and are on a lifelong journey to manage and correct those breaches of integrity in their living. The second group is also on a lifelong journey. But their goal is to forever hide and cover up these breaches as they continue to indulge in their vices and addictive behaviors – hoping never to be found out.
I have spent time in both of these groups, and know from personal experience that when we choose to hide and indulge our vices, we are forced to spend so much energy protecting ourselves from being found out that inadequate energy and creative power is left to pursue our true calling as a leader. So we are forced to choose. Chase our vices, or chase our dream.
So as a leader, make certain you carefully watch over and protect your inner soul and integrity. Fully embrace the fact that you first need to be the right kind of person, and do the right kinds of things, before you will excel in reaching your God given potential. Guard your character. Be a person others can trust. Plant seeds of integrity wherever you go and you will eventually reap a bountiful crop of personal respect, success, and satisfaction.
Wednesday, 17. March 2010 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
“My life is my message.” - Mahatma Ghandi
Everyone’s life is driven by something. People can be driven by their problems, deadlines, a painful memory, haunting fears, or by some subconscious belief. Rick Warren mentions five common (yet negative) motivations that can “drive” a person:
1) Guilt: These individuals spend their life running from past regrets and hiding under the covers of shame. Guilt-driven people are imprisoned by past failures, and thus are unable to embrace a new future. Many times they unconsciously “punish” themselves by sabotaging their own success. ** We may be products of our past, but we don’t have to be imprisoned by it. Moses’ past included murderer - yet he later led an entire nation from slavery into freedom.
2) Resentment and Anger: These people are addicted to past hurts. Instead of releasing their pain through offering grace and forgiveness, they choose to relive a hurtful situation over and over in their minds. Those who hurt us in the past cannot continue to do us damage unless we choose intoxicate ourselves with resentment. The Bible says, “To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do.” (Job 5:2)
3) Fear: Fear-driven people miss great opportunities because they are too afraid to venture out into the unknown. Instead of embracing the future, they prefer to play it safe and maintain the status quo. Fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep a person from becoming all that God intends them to be. We must step into our fears with the weapons of faith and perseverance.
4) Materialism: The drive to always want more “stuff” is based on a misconception that having more will make us more happy, more important, and more secure - but all three beliefs are not true. Self-worth and net-worth are not related.
5) Need for approval: These individuals allow the expectations of others to control their lives. I don’t know every key to success, but one key of failure is to try to please everyone. Being controlled by the opinions of others is a sure way to miss our purpose in life - as we instead constantly wonder around looking for the approval of… anybody.
** What has been “driving” you lately?
Monday, 04. January 2010 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
Recent finding about the nature of intelligence:
1) Existing standardized IQ tests totally fail to predict success in life or business. (Because IQ only narrowly relates to one’s overall intelligence.)
2) Emotional maturity has been scientifically proven to be an indispensable contributor to rational decision thinking and decision making – key attributes which lead to high levels of success.
3) New research is showing that “overall” intelligence is (to a large extent) learned.
Four Major Factors of Overall Intelligence:
1) Intellectual Intelligence (IQ): is largely genetic, but can be honed (or heightened) by curiosity, discipline in study, and by exposing yourself to a wide range of experiences.
2) Emotional Intelligence (EQ): is the ability to manage your own emotions. It begins with your ability to recognize your emotions, then understand them, and finally to manage yourself out of “emotional hijackings.” (A person’s emotions can get “hijacked” by an event or strong emotion… like excess fear, anger, bitterness,…)
How to develop EQ:
• The first step to a high EQ is growing in your ability to recognize, or be aware, of your emotions. THIS IS NOT AS EASY AS IT SEEMS… We all can loose sight of our emotions… Being aware of our emotions requires constant reflection and forms of feedback.
• The second step is to manage your emotions… (primarily by managing your self-talk.)
• The third step to concentrate (to be fully present) so you are not caught off guard in any type of situation which may occur in the day.
3) Social Intelligence (SQ): If EQ is the ability to manage your own emotions, then SQ has to do with recognizing and managing the emotions in interpersonal relationships. EQ is directed inward. SQ is directed outward, and involves:
• The ability to recognize the emotions of others
• The ability to empathize with those emotions
• The ability to listen well
• To really care
• And the ability to resolve conflicts in a healthy way
4) Change Intelligence (CQ): This type of intelligence has a huge impact on one’s ability to lead others and organizations.
• Where you quickly recognize the need for change
• Are emotionally comfortable with change - can emotionally come to peace with the need for change
• And can confidently lead yourself, and others, down the path of change
SO WHAT IS THE POINT?
** Research has shown that World Class Performers may only have an average IQ, but definitely have highly developed EQ, SQ, & CQ’s. This again shows that success is developed…
Thursday, 19. November 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.
“Sometimes the dark side of leadership eclipses the bright side – to the detriment of both the leader and the organization.” – Jay Conger
There are many paradoxes in Leadership. One paradox is that a leader’s personal strengths – the abilities that have brought a leader success – can (if left unchecked) contribute to an eventual failure in their leadership. Research has shown that the qualities that propel an individual to leadership success have often been the issues that catalyzed a significant failure in that person’s leadership.
So, what is the “dark side?” The dark side is grounded in the inner urges, compulsions, and dysfunctions of our personality that often go unexamined, or remain unknown to us, until some type of emotional experience or trauma is experienced. Our dark side can be exasperated by various personal issues, including:
• Our insecurities
• Feelings of inferiority
• Our need for approval
As a leader, here is what you should know:
• Characteristics that drive people to lead and succeed often have a “dark side” that is capable of crippling them.
• Every leader/person suffers from some degree of personal dysfunction.
• Many leaders are not aware how their dysfunctions influence and drive them.
• Because dysfunctions can channel themselves into ambitions, our dysfunctions can often go undetected until it is too late.
• Learning about their dark side can enable leaders to address and prevent (or at least mitigate) their potential negative effects.
Writing about Abraham Lincoln, author Donald Phillips writes, “Unlike many leaders, Lincoln was painfully aware of his dark side and took proactive steps to prevent it from sabotaging his leadership.” Lincoln understood that for any person to successfully lead others, he or she must understand that leading, at times, can bring out the worst in us.
So how do we master our dark side? Well, in many ways, mastering our dark side is nothing more than using good common sense. First, one needs to admit they do have dark tendencies, and then take time to adequately discern what they are – and understand how they tend to manifest themselves.
Second, understand that our past does impact our present – and therefore we need to examine our past with the purpose of understanding ourselves better. One begins by recalling the events that (for whatever reason) have significantly shaped our life and have left an indelible mark. The Bible teaches, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” Once we have taken the time to admit how certain events have left an unhealthy shadow, we can then start down (many times with the help of others) a path of healing and personal freedom.
Finally, we need to practice progressive self-knowledge and discipline. Self-knowledge is best attained by opening ourselves to the scrutiny of others, seeking feedback regarding how our dark side may be rearing its ugly head. Self-discipline (coupled with accountability) is then developed to keep our unhealthy appetites under control. For example, Lincoln helped manage his anger by writing long letters to vent his anger and emotion – which he generally never sent.
Challenge: Do you know, and are you managing, your dark tendencies as a leader? Would others say you know, and are managing, these tendencies?
