Focus

Tuesday, 29. September 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

It has been said that without a clearly defined goal, or focus, a person will naturally drift toward a life of trivial mediocrity. I agree.

The Apostle Paul wrote, “this one thing I do…” (Philippians 3:10-14) – Paul had a clearly defined focus for his life, and this focus enabled him to most effectively live out his calling and purpose. This focus gave him extreme clarity regarding where he was to spend his energy, time and resources.

I personally believe the first step to living such a focused life is to decide that your “YES” is. To clarify, for each key area of your life, what you are going to say YES to. A person is not prepared to say “no” to anything until they have first clearly discerned what they are going to say “yes” to.

Defining your “Yes” provides clarity - it allows you to pinpoint which one path you will follow, and which opportunities (even good ones) will consequently require a “No” response… for you are not prepared to say NO until you’ve said YES to something else.

Your “YES” defines your focus, it sets your compass. It determines what your life/work will focus on - while weeding out those activities will only distract you from that higher calling.

** What is your “YES” for each key dimension of your life? (Spiritual, Spouse, Family, Career,...),

Your Heroic Journey

Tuesday, 22. September 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

I had the privilege to attend an outdoor U2 concert in Chicago last week.

It was a pleasant, clear night where the audience was full of excitement and energy as the band played many of its musical hits from the past 25 years or so. Halfway through the concert, U2 performed one of their most popular songs, which contains the lyrics “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”

When U2 began to sing this well-known chorus, the whole audience of over 80,000 people joined in unison, singing with the band over and over, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for… I still haven’t found what I am looking for…” As energetic as any other time in the concert, the stadium of loyal fans were emotionally feeling and singing the lyrics of a song Bono had written some 25 years earlier.

The journey of Belief is one of pursuing with conviction, patience and fortitude what you “still have not found.” It is one of stepping out toward what you have yet to know or experience. It’s about allowing a compelling belief, yearning or conviction to lure you on toward a destination that is still unclear, or foggy in many ways.

I personally believe one of the core and central journeys of every person’s life is of this nature – of believing in, and stepping out in faith toward what has yet to be realized or attained. Of embracing a belief that there is something better, and allowing it to lure you on toward becoming a better person, parent, friend, spouse, leader – of reaching a meaningful vision or dream.

This is what marks each person’s “Heroic Journey.”

Too Many, Too Often

Friday, 18. September 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

The most important decision you will ever make is the choice to Believe. The choice to believe in yourself, your dreams, talents, in your marriage, your kids, in what is still possible, in God...

Though this choice to Belief is the most important of choices, many individuals falter and fade in that choice. Too many, too often, will choose to give into their fears and doubt. When the path of “Belief” starts to become foggy, or down right difficult - too many, too often will choose to be driven by anger, doubt, fear and despair instead of having the fortitude to continue down the path of courageous belief.

Why do people falter in their belief?:

- The choice to give into fear and doubt is easier and takes far less energy - while the pathway of Belief can many times, and for long periods of time, be wearisome.

- The choice to give into anger and despair allows a person the comfort of thinking they are a “victim” - where they can blame God, others, or “the system” for whatever befalls them.

- Faltering in one’s belief allows that person to neglect the personal discipline needed to acquire new knowledge, skills, mentors, and help to sustain them in a journey of Belief.

- The journey of Belief can be painful and lonely - while the choice to give into their fears, and play it safe, allows a person to remain comfortably tucked away in the crowd.

So if you are going to make the choice to Believe… remember:

- The choice to Believe is many times the most difficult of choices - while the temptation to give into doubt and despair easier than a downhill walk.

- The choice to Believe is always a narrow path that leads into the unknown, chosen by the few.

- *** BUT... The choice to Believe always releases the power to create (or re-create) your reality. It is the only path that will allow you to reach the summit of your dreams and potential - to experience all this life has to offer. While Belief is not magic, it is indeed magical!

Looking In

Sunday, 13. September 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

The degree to which we develop our self-awareness will significantly influence our success in life.

Warren Bennis writes, “Only when we know what we are made of can we begin our lives.”

Self-awareness is where leadership development begins - for ever greater levels of self-understanding will enable us to lead ourselves, and others, in more authentic and meaningful ways.

The following are ways to develop self-awareness:
1) Stop blaming others for your behavior. You always have a choice how you respond and behave. How do you tend to blame others for your unhealthy behaviors?

2) Take a personality assessment to help gain more perspective regarding how you are wired.

3) Get feedback from significant people who know you well. This can be uncomfortable for both of you, but it is the fastest method for gaining a better understanding of your strengths and limitations.

4) Seek out a coach or mentor. Someone who sees you in action - and can help you become a better version of yourself.

5) Understand that your biggest irritations look a lot like you. If something irritates you, it may be because you have the same tendency/habit yourself.

6) Look beneath your behavior to discern your assumptions about life. What assumptions are driving your healthy and unhealthy behaviors?

7) Asses what seems to be limiting your growth and success. How may you be giving those roadblocks too much control or power in your life?.

8) A regular occurrence of negative interactions with others tend to signal a selfish attitude in your life.

9) Each night, reflect back on your behavior. Ask questions like: How did I handle difficulties? What did I think or do when I don’t get my way? How adaptive was I? Did I control my emotions? Did I judge other people and create conflict? How did others relate to me? What hindered my showing love today?

10) Record your thoughts and experiences in a personal journal. It is one of the best ways to capture what is going on around you - and inside you.

11) Make note of the causal remarks people make about you.

12) Read books and go to seminars that help you rethink your assumptions, and address problem areas - and blind spots - in your life.

13) Consider the words you have used lately. Your words mean a lot. The words you use reflect your thinking and attitudes. Your thoughts and choices have brought you to where you are now, and your thoughts and choices will determine where you end up in the future.

** Being self–awarene is difficult. But admit your need to continually grow by asking yourself, “What are my next steps to grow both personally and professionally?”

Beyond Just The “Appearance” of Success

Wednesday, 09. September 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

In studying the topic of “success,” I have found 5 characteristics which mark individuals who separate themselves from the pact – of those who reach the highest levels of personal success.

1) First, they are driven by a strong sense of Passion and Belief.  They have a defining conviction that compels them forward in a specific direction – toward a unique Grand Goal.  Whether it be meeting the needs of the poor and needy, or adding value to the business world in a unique way, or helping individuals connect with God – successful individuals have extreme clarity regarding what they want to do and accomplish.

2) They have chosen to Think Big and set Big Goals.  They are not only passionate about a specific issue or venture, they have set compelling goals to bring those passions into reality.  Their goals are not only specific, but are goals that Stretch – goals that Create.

3) They embrace that steps of Faith into the unknown will be needed if they will ever reach their desired destination.  They have chosen to be driven by Faith, not Fear.  They understand that active steps into the unknown will need to be taken if they are going to make their goals a reality.  And they are ready to take those steps.

4) They have taken time to creatively develop and implement Systems.  Systems that keep them focused on their goals – and which then drive them to those goals.  They have skilled staff who fill needed roles, established ways to track progress, and determined ways to hold themselves accountable for progress.  Not only do they have a well thought through plan – and have systematized that plan so it almost runs by itself.

5) They have a high level of personal discipline to use whatever systems they have created to stay on task.  They have developed personal rituals and habits that keep them proactively moving in one direction – in the direction of their Dream and Goals.

Challenge: Which of the above issues do you need to develop to help you live out your passions – and reach ever-higher levels of potential?

The Search For Meaning

Friday, 14. August 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

This quote by Michelangelo is still true today. Many of us aim too low! One person who believed it is necessary to individuals to “aim high” was Victor Frankl - Victor believed that man’s primary motivator in life is his quest for meaning.

** The video below presents a few of Victor Frankl’s key thoughts and quotes:

(Hints: Use the pause button if needed. Once the video is going - press the “HQ” for better picture quality.)

“If we take man as he is, we make him worse, but if we over estimate a man - we promote him to what he really can be. If you don’t recognize a man’s search for meaning, you make him worse. You make him dull, you make him frustrated…” - V. Frankl

No Energy - No Leadership

Tuesday, 04. August 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

In his book, “Level Three Leadership” James Clawson writes, “Leadership is about managing energy, first in yourself, and then in those around you.  When you walk into an organization, you can tell quickly what the energy level is – and therefore the quality of the leadership in the place.  If the energy is low, the leadership is likely to be weak.”

Dr. Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz agree, writing “Managing energy, not time, is the key to enduring high performance as well as to health, happiness, and life balance…”

Many people have good ideas, but have such low inventories of energy that nothing much happens with those ideas.  And from a leaders perspective, if you cannot generate the energy needed to intently focus on your own goals and dreams, how can you expect to be able to focus the energy of those you lead?

** So where does “leadership energy” come from?  What are the sources that create an inflow of energy into a leader’s life?

– A leader creates, and manages, their energy by focusing on 4 key areas:

1) Their Dreams ~ The Bible says that without a vision, the people will perish.  Well this is true in our personal lives as well – without a clearly defined and articulated dream, our lives will slowly start to dry up and shrivel.  But a clearly defined dream will untap reservoirs of energy we never knew existed.

2) Their Core ~  Without a healthy and centered core – or a healthy inner spirit – our lives will exist in a continual state of inner unrest. A strong inner core is built upon: Having clarified the specific values and purpose that our lives and actions will be founded upon (and then aligning our lives to that purpose and values.); Having come to peace with who we are, and how we have been created; And finally, by honestly discerning (and admitting) in what ways we are “broken” – or where we personally need inner psychological or spiritual healing – then, place ourselves on a path that will eventually bring healing to those areas of brokenness.

3) Their Health & Diet ~ Amazingly, exercise gives you more energy than it uses. Moderate exercise, like a 30-minute walk is refreshing and energizing. Eating healthy foods like more fruits, vegetables and whole grains – instead of fat and sugar – creates energy as well.  Simple… Your body runs better with the proper kind of fuel.

4) Protecting Their Faith ~ The Bible states that, “according to your faith, so will it be done unto you” (Matthew 9:29).  “Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared to believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance” – Bruce Barton.  A compelling faith creates energy (and passion) out of thin air… believe it or not.

** Great leaders are stewards of their own, and their organization’s energy. They begin by carefully managing their own energy, while also mobilizing, focusing, investing, channeling, renewing and expanding the energy of those around them toward a common and preferred future.

** How has your energy management been lately – both in yourself, and in those you lead?

45 Life Lessons

Saturday, 04. July 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

** Regina Brett recently wrote - “Here are 45 lessons life has taught me:”

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative—dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

** Remember that I will always share my spoon with you!
** Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.

Your LIfe - Your Stage

Sunday, 28. June 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

“All the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” - William Shakespeare

What part have you been acting in the theater of life?  What place have you assigned to yourself on the stage?  Are you one of the lead actors?  Do you bear one of the important parts?  Or are you merely one of those standing in the “crowd” scene, off toward the side?

Though it may be hard to believe, and we may often times deny this truth - always remember that whatever part you are playing on the stage of life – it is the part you have assigned to yourself.  You are acting in the role you have cast for yourself. 

Leaders and Philosophers throughout the ages have taught this fundamental truth:

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” – King Solomon
“According to your faith, so will it be done unto you.” – Jesus
“Life consists of what a man is thinking about all day.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.” – John Locke
“You are today where your thoughts have brought you.  You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” – James Allen
“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” – The Apostle Paul
“Nurture great thoughts, for you will never go higher than your thoughts.” – Benjamin Disraeli

What sort of image do you hold of yourself? What kind of actor have you made yourself out to be? - For as Emmett Fox writes, “Whatever the real conviction of yourself is, that is what you will eventually realize in your life… for whatever enters your life is but the material expression of your beliefs and thoughts.”

This is true because the Law of “Cause and Effect” is as absolute and undeviating in the hidden realm of thoughts as it is in the world of visible and material things.  Our minds are the master weaver, both of our interior garment of character, and outer garment of circumstance.

The error of the ages has been the tendency of mankind to limit the power of thoughts, belief and faith – but we set limits on this power at our own demise, for as Jesus taught - according to your faith (or your mental beliefs and images), so shall it be done unto you. 

** What part have you given yourself on life’s stage?

Fine Tunes…

Wednesday, 24. June 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

“Why do most of us like to talk so much? Because we want to be noticed and appreciated. We get a charge out of being the center of the universe. But when sit there and yap on and on, you use up all the oxygen and energy in the room, which is debilitating for everyone else there with you.” - Linda Thaler & Robin Koval

In the book “The Power of Nice.” Authors Thaler and Koval write that “often times, more communication is less communication.” They suggest five ways to fine tune your listening skills:

* Let the Other Person Be Smarter. When you let another person’s brilliance shine through, you not only gain new information, you also earn their goodwill. Everyone likes to be around people who make them feel both important and intelligent.

* Keep It Simple. Sometimes the best answer is the simplest one. By listening rather than pontificating about your opinion, you will often discover the simple connection (or truth) that makes all the difference.

* Ask, Don’t Tell. When you ask questions, you tell people that you care about them - that you’re interested in what they have to say. You also send the subtle message that you’re a bright, inquisitive individual who would like to know more. That’s why even the smallest question can have a huge impact.

* Don’t Argue. Whenever problems or conflicts arise, there is a natural tendency to try and “talk your way out of it” - or to defend yourself. But sometimes the best way to win your case is to shut up, humble yourself, and listen your way out of it.

* Everyone Is Worth Listening To. Jay Leno says, “We live in a society of exclusion. There is this idea that you should try to keep people out - ‘Oh, you can’t come into this club, you have to be a member, you don’t have enough money, you’re not handsome enough.’ But if you go through life with the opposite attitude and try to include everybody, it opens up doors.”

Remember Dale Carnegie’s quote: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”