21 Reminders

Posted on February 26, 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

The following are 21 habits that will help you become a more relationally effective and influential leader. While taking only a few minutes to read, some on the list will take a lifetime to learn:

1) Don’t criticize, condemn or complain

2) Give honest, sincere appreciation

3) Arouse in the other person an renewed desire to grow and reach their potential

4) Become genuinely interested in other people

5) Smile

6) Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language – take time to learn and remember names

7) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about their interests

8) Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely

9) The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

10) Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You are wrong!”

11) If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

12) Begin all conversations in a friendly way

13) Allow the other person to feel an idea is his or hers

14) Try honestly to see and understand the other person’s idea and desires

15) Begin conversations with praise and honest appreciation

16) Talk about your own mistakes before discussing the other person’s – and do so privately

17) Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement

18) Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

19) Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

20) Get all the facts first

21) Cooperate with the inevitable

**From Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”