Aging Well

Posted on February 10, 2009 by Ronald T. Brown, Ph.D.

How to Age Well.

**

8 Marks of a Mature Individual/Leader

:

1) They have made the “shift” from

Mistrust

to

Trust

.
When building a team, sustaining relationships, or establishing long-term clients – the ability to build mutual trust is critical.  Mature individuals are able to develop and maintain trust.  While not blind to issues, they trust others, teammates, staff, systems, …

Q: People who have not developed this trait tend to be what?  (Control Freaks – instead of building trust, they try to control others.)

2) They have made the shift from

Controlling

to

Self-Control

.
Immature people have a need to control others and situations (relates to their inability to trust) – while the mature have developed a strong sense of self-control and autonomy.  Mature leaders instead focus on controlling themselves – their passions, desires, frustrations, health, …

Q: People who have not developed this trait tend to do what? (Make Excuses)

3) They have made the shift from

Waiting

to

Taking Initiative

.
Mature leaders do not wait their “ship to come in.”  Instead they have chosen to swim out to meet it.  The courage to consistently take initiative is the sign of a maturing leader and person.  They have begun to master their fears, and have done away with a victim’s mentality.

Q: People who have not developed this trait tend to do what? (Complain – they are such the victim.)

4) They have made the shift from

Self-doubt

to

Self-Confidence

.
Everyone struggles with self-doubt.  No one is an exception – but maturing individuals are self-aware, and have come to peace with who they are, and how they have been created by God.  They understand their strengths and weaknesses; are at peace with what they have found – and have found ways to leverage who they are to help them succeed in life (however they define the term.)

Q: People who have not developed this trait tend to do what? (Believe the glass is half empty.)

5) They have made the shift from

Confusion

to

Clarity

.
Related to the last point, mature individuals know who they are – and know who they are not.  If asked, they can quickly answer the questions: What are your strengths?  What are your dreams?  What are your values?  Immature people only have a vague answer to “deep” questions like these.  They may have some ideas, and wishes, yet mature people have concrete clarity regarding who they are, and what they want to do.

Q: People who have not developed this trait tend to? (Be followers)

6) They have made the shift from

Isolation

to

Intimacy

.
The ability of an individual to authentically care for another person (with no strings attached) is a clear sign of maturity.  Individuals who have not acquired the ability to move past their fears and pride to experience (non-sexual) intimacy will always feel alone in this world.  The ability to build authentic and intimate relationships with key individuals is one of the major deterrents against loneliness and depression.
Q: People who have not developed this trait tend to? (Wear a mask)

7) They have made the shift from

Self-Centeredness

to

Wholeness

.
Immature people are preoccupied with their own needs and comforts – as opposed to being concerned about the wellbeing of others (who are NOT in their immediate circle of friends and family.)  Mature people care.  They care not only for those closest to them, but also for the hurting and needy as well.

Q: People who have not developed this trait tend to be? (Defensive)

8) They have made the shift from being influenced by their

Passions

to their

Integrity

.
Integrity can only be built over time… but can be lost in a minute.  Maturity is developed when an individual can maneuver through the difficulties of life while consistently doing the right things.  Immature individuals too often give into their passions and vices.  They much too often take the easy way out.

Q: People who have not developed this trait are forced to? (Hide)